(W)Holy Householding - a few thoughts from 3:30pm to 3:55pm

Householding . . . holding a house together in every sense of the word is tough stuff.  Chasing three kids around to soccer games, swim team practice, piano lessons, math tutor sessions and playtime with friends and cousins keeps me watching the clock.  Plus, then the five year old feeds himself and the dog chocolate ice cream for lunch.  Why am I always behind with the dishes?  And, don't talk to me about laundry - I think I could love laundry, if I didn't hate it so much.  Remember to pay the cell phone bill as they have already left two messages and that darned $39 fee to reinstate really stinks.  CHECK!
Love the idealized clean entry way in "Traditional Home" mag - at least I paid attention to the cover - too bad that as I type this there are snow boots, someone's undies, 37 pairs of shoes, a naked barbie and overdue library books cluttering my tiny entryway.  WELCOME to my house!  OK, don't forget to renew books - I have this thing with library books (love to check them out, hate to return them) I know - completely crazy possessive over books.  
Oh poop, it's 3:40pm and I haven't even thought about what's for dinner -- must pull out trusty panini maker!  Send 3 vital emails re: my church calling.  Call to organize fireside evening for combined two wards - don't forget to order mint brownies for refreshments.  
Edit 14 pages of latest chapter, enough for today!  Will have complete by Thursday, not today as originally planned, but hey, my 84 year old grandmother is in town and I don't know how many more days I will have with her.  Oh, thank you Mr. Mailman, you did bring me Toby Stephens in Jane Eyre via Netflix today!  Maybe I will put that in the ol' DVD player tonight when the kids are in bed - no guilt if I promise to switch the laundry at least twice, right?  Note to self - make children do at least two chores today, they are old enough to help.  Double poop - put away all winter clothes on Saturday when it was a balmy 69 degrees, now only have summer clothes to wait out the inevitable April snow storms that dumped 4 inches on my budding daffodils Saturday night.  Gotta run . . . carpool is calling.
Resolved: Tomorrow my son will not watch more than one hour of PBSKids.  And, will not eat ice cream for lunch.  
How do we hold it all together??? Lots of love, patience and no expectations of perfection.  

Chapter Five Update

I told myself, "This chapter should be a cinch!"  I'll keep it short and sweet and to the point.  I can discuss female patronage during late antiquity and tie in the objet d'art used for personal adornment and veneration in a straightforward and concise way . . .  I can even keep my pages to a reasonable number, somewhere around 30!
Why do I lie to myself???  I still have to cover two gold medallions and add in some text on Helena and I am already at 40 pages!
On the bright side of things, I only have one chapter left to write and I vow that it will be shorter.  Another lie?  Probably.
I don't even want to think about writing my conclusion - I want it to be 5-6 pages at most.  I am seriously considering coercing some of my friends, family and colleagues to read my finished draft chapters and holding a contest where each one submits a single page summing up my dissertation.  They could win very valuable prizes for their entries and I could at least have some examples of concisely written summations.  
This is a great idea!
So, if there are any readers whatsoever to this blog . . . stay posted, you may have a chance to chime in as well.   


On a complete tangent, I finally watched the movie Secretariat last night . . . if you are going to run a race, run at it with everything you've got.  All in all, I'd say '73 was a pretty good year!  Inspiring!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS4f6wiQJh4&feature=related

Pull Out the Red Pencil

If you want to be a good writer, you need an great editor!  Or editors!
Sharing my pages has always been an intimidating experience because I am met with these dilemmas:
1.  My subject matter is not always an easy read and my topic is somewhat specialized, thus the need for an informed reader.  
2.  As hard as I try to be concise and maintain clarity and meaning when I write, I am still prone to "wordiness" and need an objective thinker to help hone my verbiage without losing my authentic voice.
3.  The best editor is an honest editor -- someone who can help cull the masterpiece from the study sketches.  This process requires a not only a creative thinker, but a patient one as well.
4.  I don't want to bore anyone or waste their time!  So, sometimes I hesitate to ask . . . go ahead, ask anyway!  If I think what I am writing is interesting, chances are others will too.
5.  TRUST!  I have to fight my personal fears of inadequacy.  I acknowledge that what I am writing is imperfect, thus the need for an editor in the first place.  
Nevertheless, I am willing to share my work, and I am fortunate enough to have peers and mentors to share it with!
I am very lucky to have an excellent PhD panel with a great supervisor and advisors.  Additionally, I am happy to count as friends some very talented wordsmiths who ALSO know more than I do about late antiquity AND are willing to help me excavate the best results from my writing.  
To each of you, I say THANK YOU!  Your efforts on my behalf are not only benevolent, they are REAL EFFORTS for which I am truly grateful.

Ordinary Aesthetics

Sensitivity to aesthetics can become second nature if you attune yourself to it.  I am naturally drawn to truly beautiful things like an internal flame.  I side with Plato - Real Beauty is inextricably connected to the Good, and the Good with God.  
As I have pondered the beautiful things in my life I am content.  I am grateful.  I want to cultivate this sensitivity in my children.
In a world fraught with ugliness in attitudes, morals and behaviors, it is hopeful and refreshing to acknowledge goodness and beauty.


Today, I want to acknowledge Japanese civility as a source of good and beauty.

"Fall down seven times, stand up eight"

~Japanese Proverb

And . . . no pushing!

Winston Writes for Me

My Dog Winston writes for me!
Can't you see how lovely he looks illuminated by computer backlight?  
He can construct a perfectly clever turn of phrase without blinking an eye!


Alright, I admit to a little exaggeration here, but have to acknowledge that Winston does help me write.  At least he keeps me from being too lonely while I write. He sits at my feet, sits on my lap, gives me tender little licky kisses.  He adores me, even when my efforts at scintillating insights fail miserably.


Sometimes I relish being alone with my thoughts, but there are times when the inertia of academic loneliness is really hard to bear.
I don't mean to sound dramatic or overly Emo here - but the fact remains that there are times when I feel like a community of one.  


I am grateful for friends far and near who are willing, even if my ramblings don't suit their fancy, to listen, read and comment on my thoughts and pages.  My most sincere thanks goes out to them today!  

Signs Along the Way

You know you are in Britain when even the signs are prim and proper.

Jeeves, I knew there was a reason we decided to forgo the Bentley and 

opted for the Smart car!

 Even the bothered neighbors across from the pub are polite!  Thank You!

 No one would stoop so low as to say: KEEP OUT!

The Queen kindly requests that you refrain from treading upon the royal lawn.

 I can't even figure out which side of the car I am meant to be on, let alone figure this one out.

 Tee hee hee!  I get it, but -- Tee hee hee!

Gotta love the formality!

And then you go to France and find the signage either

 

Really disturbing or

Super cheesy - but hey, in their defense, the French are really good at cheese.

Blooming Inspiration

I adore purple irises.  They are bold, beautiful, regal and inspiring.  This morning I stopped by my local floral shop to pick up something for a friend and noticed that they had 10 stem bunches of purple iris! 

Voila!  The inspiration that I needed for the day.  
Usually, all I need to banish mental dullness is a small token - something simple and beautiful to generate all kinds of creative thoughts and motivate me into action:
Baking my luscious chocolate cake from scratch
Sunday afternoon walks
A tiny box of really amazing chocolate
Finding the perfect accessory on sale
The smell of rain
My scratchy purple plaid Scottish throw blanket
Reading books with my children
A long nap in crispy sheets
Real letters in the mail 
I am just grateful that today the inspiration was irises.

Women in Purple

Aelia Pulcheria was the daughter of a very influential mother, the Empress Eudoxia who was criticized by John Chrysostom for her unorthodox Christian devotion.  He publicly denounced Eudoxia’s lifestyle in his sermons: “You who are in the flesh make war against the incorporeal one.  You who enjoy baths and perfumes and sex with a male do battle with the pure and untouched church.”[1]  

I can't help but think that Eudoxia is given an unfair assessment here . . . I mean Chrysostom doesn't like women generally, so how can we expect him to praise those who bathe, take note of personal hygiene or enjoy their role as wife and mother - especially when they threaten his authority.  Eudoxia was an extremely popular model of lay Christian devotion and was often seen worshipping amongst the common townspeople.  

Now Pulcheria her daughter, as a young orphaned teenage girl, assumed responsibility for her brother's imperial training (age 13) and dedicated herself to a life of virginal asceticism (age 14).  She is unduly influenced from an early age by patristic influences and carries on their agenda in the imperial household.  She is well known for her instrumental role in sanctioning the findings of the Council of Ephesus that proclaimed Mary Theotokos in 431 and literally shifted the way that female sanctity was defined by the Church.  

I have to admit to a love/dislike relationship with this woman.  

I like Pulcheria because:

She strategically places herself in a position of power and influence.

She heads the Theodosian household at an early age and makes a decent success of it.

She can't help that she is essentially a puppet, used according to the distorted view of women by some of the patristic Fathers.

I dislike Pulcheria - or at least the portrayal of Pulcheria because:

She seems to privilege the ascetic model for female devotion despite the incredible legacy of matrons in her family.

She seems to promote the iconography of Mary in a way that excludes the majority of late antique Christian women (wives and mothers) from the model of holiness.

OK, so now that you are completely bored with this post - let me just say this:

I think it is important for scholars to tread lightly with criticisms of people from the past -- lay out the facts as clearly as possible, but realize that life circumstances and "Images" of individuals are often obscured according to other's agenda.   In this case, I think there is something pivotally askew in presenting wives and mothers as less worthy than the holy virginal ascetics -- Oh, Pulcheria, I think your purple shoes would be very difficult to walk in and I promise to try to write you justly.

[1] HOLUM, K. G. 1982. Theodosian empresses: women and imperial dominion in late antiquity, Berkeley, University of California Press.

Monday Morning Dreaming

If you are like me, Monday morning can be both promising and daunting.  Another week is starting, another litany of tasks and milestones is looking me in the face, my children have mixed feelings about leaving the comfy weekend nest and the remnants of a true Day of Rest did not magically disappear overnight.  
My favorite way to ward off Monday blues (that for me always start on Sunday night), is to spend a few minutes on Monday morning daydreaming . . . 
This morning's reveries found me in Paris.  

Wasn't that nice?!?  Relatively inexpensive travel within Europe makes a quick jaunt to the City of Lights really easy and really tempting.  These photos were taken last spring.  With spring in the air, albeit mixed with fluffy transient snowflakes, I couldn't help sharing a little vie en rose.
Now, back to today's writing goal:
Women in Purple: Helena vs. Pulcheria - Tomorrow's post will elaborate.

Trade Secrets!

For me, 60% of the writing process is organizing my research material and honing my reading notes.  The remaining 40% is made up of the "mental stretch" required to tie my conclusions together and psych myself into believing that I can actually eat this elephant one bite at a time! 

Due to unfortunate experience, I can tell you that procrastination never produces the best results.  The closer I am to a writing deadline, the more anxious I become and, sad to say, the more difficult I am to live with.  

I don't want Chapter 5 to sow seeds of resentment in my heart or the hearts of those I love!  

RESOLVED:

• I will follow my simple chapter outline and write about a single topic per day -- or maybe over a few days. 
• I will work on my chapter for two hours per day (x 6 days/week) in a consistent and diligent manner.  This beats 30-35 hours during the week before deadline.
• I will pass along my "work in progress" for others to review before I send it to my advisor.  (Particularly difficult thing for me to do!)
• I will not allow myself to become an ascetic hermit during the last week prior to deadline (Beg. of April), nor will I need to because I will be confident in what I have produced.

OK, I think I sound more OCD than I actually am . . . 

All neuroses aside, I will let you in on a couple little writing secrets that ALWAYS vanquish writer's block:

1. If you are bored with your writing or just generally so bored that you don't even want to think about writing -- do it anyway, just for 15 minutes.

2. Go somewhere else to write.  If the kitchen table or your desk aren't to your liking - go somewhere else, anywhere else.  (The public library, the study of a friend or relative, the park, a local internet cafe or bookstore).

3. Make sure you are comfortable -- I personally love socks and feel rather clever when I am wearing a pair of fun argyles or my luxe favs - cashmere (ok, cashmere blend).

4. Have a snack -- low blood sugar is never good for generating genius ideas!  

Note to self who loves to snack while writing: yes, celery and peanut butter is just as lovely as chocolate chip cookies!

How to Start a Chapter

I always take a couple of days to decompress after submitting a large piece of writing.  I don't even open Word on my computer or crack a book that doesn't scream !Fiction Sensation!  I do like to literally "put my house in order" before beginning another stint of writing. So, yesterday I dusted off my best domestic skills and vacuumed, mopped the hardwoods, organized a drawer or two, cycled laundry and even sorted out my own bedroom.  
It always feels good to have a tidy home.  I love an ordered environment, but it is sometimes incompatible with family life - unless you want to drive yourself to distraction by obsessing over every little object out of place or go around with a white glove looking for each speck of dust.  Honestly, with three kids I have had to learn to ignore some of the chaos in order to accomplish the necessary writing.  
I have actually learned to be creative in the midst of the frenetic pace of family life and I find that sometimes it helps to just allow the laws of entropy to invade my domestic sphere.  I mean check out Einstein's Desk on the day he died:

This picture brings me some solace - not that I am anything like Einstein - but I think it reveals something about a creative mind that can layer and rearrange, move beyond boundaries and still keep a personal focus.

So, today I will make my bed and switch the obligatory load of laundry and think about what to make for dinner so that my family won't go naked or hungry, but don't count on my desk remaining ordered for very long . . . 

Today starts Chapter 5 - Only Chapter 5 and Chapter 3 left to write.  Yes, even my chapters are out of order!  I won't begin by opening a computer file.  Instead I will start with my favorite clean slate - a clean sheet of lined paper and a pen.  

These tangible objects are old school, but I always start this way - something about a direct connection between the brain and the hand. Judging by the notebooks on Einstein's desk (granted, he wasn't working with my awesome Mac) this mightn't be a bad way to start!

Financial Aid -- Venting!

I will miss a lot of things about being a student - dealing with financial aid will not be one of them!

Foretold is Forewarned!  Before embarking on any educational endeavors, know that your financial plans will be disrupted, entangled and perhaps utterly decimated.  You must have a will of iron to battle through. People keep telling me that the investment will be worth it in the end.  I want to believe this, really I do - and maybe I will when I have a job in hand, but for today I am choosing to be a bit grumpy. 

The slow bureaucratic nonsense that bogs down the aid process will literally put you over the edge.  I hate to admit that THEY brought me to tears today!

I have been dealing with this issue for - I kid you not - FOUR MONTHS!  And, I am still empty-handed.

This year's particularly Hellish Nightmare has been brought to students everywhere by the letters Grrrrr and by the number 4 (as in months) and by the new changes to the US Dept. of Education's  Loan overhaul tacked onto the Healthcare Bill (double Grrr).

There are no further words suitable for a person of character to utter. 

Rest and Relaxation

Following a 4:30 am email sending my latest chapter to my supervisor for her review, comments and edits, I decided it was time for some rest and relaxation.  As this chapter is no less than 54 pages, my dear supervisor may think she needs a little R&R when she is finished reading it.


So, Friday afternoon I joined my daughter for some skiing at the world-famous Sundance Resort.  www.sundanceresort.com

I am not, in any way, considered a "Gnarly Shredder" and I would never "Hurl Carcass" down the mountain, but at least I can cruise along and even take in the scenery without a serious wipeout or bum bruising slam.  I just like to be on the mountain, take in the view, hang with my girl, sip some hot chocolate and think about something other than Coptic textiles, sarcophagi and funerary epitaphs for an afternoon.
There is no better way to revive oneself from the depths of academic purgatory (which, ashamedly, does sometimes include bouts of no showering and subsisting on cold cereal - coupled with pages and pages of highlighted text that need slashing edits, epic re-organization and logical transitions) than a pure white winter wonderland.  


And . . . if I am really going to disclose the extent of my weekend break from all things academic, I would have to admit to a little bit of retail therapy.  Thanks Jared for understanding that every Oxford Chic girl needs a little bit of high-style for the moment when showering and lip-gloss are back on the docket!
I found a great black and white houndstooth jacket - cropped with bell sleeves.

Not exactly like this, but you get the idea!  Just think Chanel on a budget (my budget)! 

My Oxford Ancestry: You may call me 'Your Ladyship'

Lady Elizabeth de Montfort is my paternal great grandmother, back 26 generations.  She married Sir William de Montagu 2nd Baron Montacute, son of Simon de Montagu Baron Montacute and Hawise de St Amand.  Her sarcophagus and effigy are in Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford next to that of St. Frideswide.  She warranted that honor through her donation of land to the Priory of St. Frideswide in the 14th c. 
Christ Church Meadow is the land that she donated and one of my favorite places on the planet for a stroll with the shades of the past -- my past.  

I don't know if you believe in the spirits of the deceased having access to the living - not in a creepy or scary poltergeist kind of way -- but in a pleasantly disturbing awareness kind of way.  If you do, then you will know what I mean when I say that I have never been more keenly confident of her presence than when I visit her final resting place or walk the meadow path. Don't worry, I always use my best manners, execute perfect posture and try to comport myself as a true and proper Lady.
It seems Lady Elizabeth is as interested in me as I am in her!  And, that is not unsettling to me at all, slightly overwhelming perhaps, but not unsettling.  

To Sleep or To Write, That is the Question!?!

Yes! I have been awake and editing Chapter Six (the death chapter)

since 4 am!

This is not only the curse of academics - or anyone really - who's brain

will NOT stop editing, re-writing, organizing,

But also the curse of an overseas student

who is not overseas!

I can't seem to reset my internal clock.  It just insists on Greenwich Mean Time!

I do occasionally have good success with

Melatonin

or

putting clove oil on my pillow -- Mmmm!

But, most of the time I am awake in the middle of the night.

Don't say it - I know I am really messed up.

I do have two sleeping luxuries that, when I do have a chance to catch some Zzzz

are my "favorite and my best"

SPALENA SHEETS

(You can order them from Costco.com)

and my Sleep Mask from Tempurpedic.

Both are positively DELISH.

Maybe I will finish these edits, get the darn chapter out the door and

TAKE A NAP!
Because dark circles under one's eyes are not chic!

(Herbal) Tea and Toast = Perfect Way to Start the Day

I am not a coffee or tea drinker -- unless you count tisanes or herbal teas -- and that

fact has sometimes been an oddity to my British colleagues!

However, I do start my day with either hot lemon water

or 

one of my favorite herbals from Harrods.

Lemongrass

Green Honeybush

Peppermint

or Chamomile

Boring tea . . . no way!

And, it is inexpensive!

So next time you visit Big Ben . . . stop in for a box.

Good to know, if you don't make it to Harrods in Knightsbridge, you can always catch the shop at Heathrow.

Speaking of morning rituals

I also have one - quite peculiar - 

practiced at the beginning of every serious stint of writing

• Clip  and file fingernails
• Fresh Nail Polish
• Fight Winter Desication with Lovely Hand Cream (Perlier, Honey Hand Cream is a Favorite)
• Write

As I must delve into patristic sources on death this morning - I had better start off with the right hands.

The Virgin Annunciate Spinning

ART HISTORY

I love art -- the objects themselves, the research, the environment of museums, storerooms, libraries and archives.

My personal interests and research forte happen to be

LATE ANTIQUE ART & Architecture

Basically, art that dates to the 3rd - 7th centuries - with some exceptions on either end of the spectrum: Late Roman art, Early Christian art, Byzantine art, and art of the early Medieval West.

Simply put, really old things get me pretty excited.

I am lucky to have excellent mentors and advisors who are not only brilliant,

but also great editors and motivators.

My PhD dissertation -- or Thesis, as they say in the UK -- focuses on late antique

images of the

Virgin Annunciate Spinning.

For an example, see the image above, a small ivory pyxis jar.

This object would have been used to hold ointment, make-up or perfume

and was probably owned by a woman.

I adore these domestic kinds of objects the most

because they are tangible evidence that home, family and spiritual iconography

were important to women during this period.

I could write you a book on my argument

and the precedents for it -- oh, yeah that is exactly what I am doing.

BUT, you'll have to wait for the end of the year for the published thesis.

My point is, this blog is not going to lay out every part of my research, but instead document my experience.

Being a mom during this whole process is actually a balancing element in my life.

I know I only have so many hours that are uninterrupted in a day.

Plus, I LOVE being with my children -- really BEING there with them.

So, while they know that what I do is important to me,

They also know that they are more important!

My very supportive husband also plays a MAJOR role in my success on the home-front.

As for style:

Many days I sit at my computer in my fab RL velour pants and a comfy t-shirt.

BUT, I also love to wear my "professional"

OXFORD CHIC

Favorites this week:

A Great Navy Blue Blazer -- use it with trousers or a great skirt, it is super versatile and SMART!

LIKE THIS

Today's Writing Goal:

Discuss Phrygian Tombstones and Epitaphs in relation to spinning iconography!